Ok.

So i was a bit of an ass today at work. This girl i work with was saying how she is going to get her tattoo this week. "what are you getting?" i asked.
"Oh, My own name. but i dont know whether to get it in arabic or in chinese symbols." well... i've got a big mouth. and even though i should have just shut up i said:
"well definitely go with the arabic because if you get chinese symbols you're automatically a douche bag"
to which she said:
"I dont really care what other people think I'm going to get my kids names in chinease symbols too"
"Well it could be worse, you could be getting a butterfly tattoo."
"Thats what i'm going to get next..."

so yeah... I'm a dick. and i apologized. but uh... there are just some tattoos people should rethink getting. and here is my list. Please comment tell me if you agree or disagree.

***Also, please note, if a tattoo has meaning for you and its personal, than thats fine. i just hate when people get 'trend tattoos' OR when people get tattoos just because they look cool but then they make up some bull answer as to why they got it so they look deep. if it doesnt mean anything, just say it doesnt. i wont think less of you, i'll just be happy you were honest about it. ****

1. Barbed wire tattoo. its just ug. and cocky, because it wraps around your 'bicep' and i guess is supposed to make you look tough and all... but its like getting a hummer; only YOU think you look cool.
Usual offenders: Frat boys and body builders
Exceptions to the rule: none whatsoever. you will always look like a total tool.

2. Chinese Symbols. why!? WHY!? if it was in english you would be ridiculous but because its Chinese it makes it meaningful? 'i'm going to get the word fire because... its powerful and so am i' or 'i'm going to get peace and love...i like both of those!' i mean, other languages at least look less pretentious. I wouldnt mind getting a word in Italian, but i'm not Italian so it just feels wrong. why is this language ok?
Usual Offenders: again, mostly Todds(frat boys).
Exceptions: Asians and Buddhists. Or if you get the symbol for the word 'Regret' because thats just hilarious.

3.Cartoon Characters: I love disney as much as the next person, but really? i mean i'm sure people have their reasons as to why, and maybe its personal, and therefore i cant judge it, but i just dont see how. its like those adult women that wear winnie the pooh tshirts and have their hair pulled back in scrunchies whilst having tweety bird sewn into their jean shorts. why? do you really like them THAT much? does it make you feel young and cute? i'm more confused about the phenomenon than anything. Although i saw a Transformers tattoo once and that was pretty badass.
usual offenders: weird dudes that work in video rental shops, women with perms and fountain bangs, dudes in prison for some weird reason.
Exceptions: uh... cartoonists?

4.Anything Tribal: so what tribe are you from?
Usual offenders: porn stars.
Exceptions: Samoans, Maori, native Hawaiians... you get the picture.

5.Butterflys and/or Fairies: The only reason women get these are because it makes them feel sexy and more feminine. its ESPECIALLY bad if they put it on their lower backs in the 'tramp stamp' area, above the crotch,ankle, or on the boob... which is usually where they put it. Dolphins are also pretty weird.
Usual Offenders: skanks.
Exceptions: People who actually believe in Fairies or people who have emotional attachments to butterflys.

6.One lone music note: We get you like music. so does everyone else. if anything get a whole bar of music of a song your really like or is personal. One lone note though? Seriously, everyone loves music, some just commit to pursuing it as a career or hobby. Its like getting a tattoo of a piece of pizza because you really like it, so does everyone; and you dont need a reminder that you love music... or pizza.
Usual Offenders: Professional musicians, and a lot of people you just wouldnt expect.
Exceptions: I guess if you're a professional musician you get a pass just because music really would be your life, but if i loved being a script analyst that doesnt mean i should get a tattoo of a script.

7.Anything that encircles the bellybutton. it just looks gross.
Usual Offenders: awkward people.
Exceptions: none.



*** maybe this list is a bit pretentious but come one, most of them i'm right about? or am i???

ha i love Jack Handy pt.2

To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He like enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!

For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

ha

BALHDGOHOEf;ajeio

well as if i havent complained about it enough, I HAVE FRICKIN' MONO. I have no idea where i got it from. i dont know anyone who has had mono recently, and i havent kissed anyone in like, 2 months. wtf.

Amazing Quotes from 'The Watchmen'

"Soon there will be war. Millions will burn. Millions will perish in sickness and misery. Why does one death matter against so many? Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this. But there are so many deserving of retribution ... and there is so little time." -Walter Kovacs/Rorschach


"Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense." -Edward Blake/The Comedian


"There is no future. There is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet." -Jon Osterman/Doctor Manhattan


"By the way, you need a stronger lock. That new one broke after one shove." -Walter Kovacs/Rorschach


"(In Rorschach's Journal) Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloodly Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say." -Walter Kovacs/Rorschach


Rorschach: [examining the same inkblot test, the second time, and answering honestly] Dog. Dog with head split in half.
Dr. Long: And, uh. What do you think split the dog's head. In half.
Rorschach: I did.


Rorschach: There. Did what had to be done. Can leave now.
Laurie: Really? Are you sure? We don't want to get too reckless and go diving headfirst into things!
Rorschach: (Having just drowned Big Figure in a toilet bowl) Hurm. Good advice. Sure there are many who would agree with you.


Doctor Manhattan: Thermodynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing. And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermodynamic miracle.
Laurie Juspeczyk: But... if me, my birth, if that's a thermodynamic miracle... I mean, you could say that about anybody in the world!
Dr. Manhattan: Yes. Anybody in the world... But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... I forget. We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from the another's vantage point. As if new, it may still take our breath away. Come... dry your eyes. For you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints most clearly. Dry your eyes... and let's go home.

I <3 Jason Segel

the best part is he was already writing a dracula puppet musical in his real life before this movie came along.

I really do need to get out of the habit of writing depressing blogs.

its just that that's the only time i feel like writing, usually. I'm sick. i dont know what it is, i just hope its not the flu, or mono. Probably not mono because i rarely get kissed these days, nor do i go around licking other peoples used silverware... anymore.

Symptoms:
-Massive headache
-Neck ache
-dizziness
-Lower and upper back pain
-shortness of breath
-sleepiness
-a lot of phlegm
*BUT no fever. Yet.

On top of that, i feel like i'm disappearing. like, i need someone to physically hold on to me so i dont 'dissolve into molecules.' i know i've said this all before, but i hate that i feel this way so often. i hate that i feel so pliable. I just want to lay in bed and have someones arms around me making me feel better.

I hate that i still think of J. i hate wondering if his last poem was about me. i hate hoping that someday when he is ready he'll find me. But how stupid would i be to let him in again!? Every date i have been on recently, every boy i've met, i pray that they will make me laugh as much as he did. That they will make me a fraction as happy. It doesnt matter if they were good guys, they werent him. I feel so fucking pathetic because of that. I hate not knowing if i'll ever feel that way about someone ever again.

I hate watching Aaron take care of katie. she is sick too and he went out in a snowstorm to go pick her up and make sure she was ok. They are so disgustingly cute. I hope i get to have that someday. i want to stop looking for 'the one' i just want him to be there and then i realize, i'm only 20 years old!! I'm just at the beginning of this horrible horrible game that I am destined to keep losing until i'm like, 35 and then im so numb that i'll settle for the first guy who makes a decent offer. Doomed to a mediocre life.

im terrified.


***UPDATE*** I do have a temperature now. 100.1

*sigh*

Someday i want to be in love like this... oh how i love e.e. cummings


i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
not fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and its you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or the mind can hide)
and this is the wonder thats keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

So horrible...

One week after the U.S. Army announced record suicide rates among its soldiers last year, the service is worried about a spike in possible suicides in the new year.
If reports of suicides are confirmed, more soldiers will have taken their lives in January than died in combat.

If reports of suicides are confirmed, more soldiers will have taken their lives in January than died in combat.

The Army said 24 soldiers are believed to have committed suicide in January alone -- six times as many as killed themselves in January 2008, according to statistics released Thursday.

The Army said it already has confirmed seven suicides, with 17 additional cases pending that it believes investigators will confirm as suicides for January.

If those prove true, more soldiers will have killed themselves than died in combat last month. According to Pentagon statistics, there were 16 U.S. combat deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq in January.

"This is terrifying," an Army official said. "We do not know what is going on."

Col. Kathy Platoni, chief clinical psychologist for the Army Reserve and National Guard, said that the long, cold months of winter could be a major contributor to the January spike.

"There is more hopelessness and helplessness because everything is so dreary and cold," she said.

But Platoni said she sees the multiple deployments, stigma associated with seeking treatment and the excessive use of anti-depressants as ongoing concerns for mental-health professionals who work with soldiers.

Those who are seeking mental-health care often have their treatment disrupted by deployments. Deployed soldiers also have to deal with the stress of separations from families.

"When people are apart you have infidelity, financial problems, substance abuse and child behavioral problems," Platoni said. "The more deployments, the more it is exacerbated."

Platoni also said that while the military has made a lot of headway in training leaders on how to deal with soldiers who may be suffering from depression or post-traumatic stress disorder, "there is still a huge problem with leadership who shame them when they seek treatment."

The anti-depressants prescribed to soldiers can have side effects that include suicidal thoughts. Those side effects reportedly are more common in people 18 to 24.

Concern about last month's suicide rate was so high, Congress and the Army leadership were briefed. In addition, the Army took the rare step of releasing data for the month rather than waiting to issue it as part of annual statistics at the end of the year.

In January 2008, the Army recorded two confirmed cases of suicides and two other cases it was investigating.

Last week, in releasing the report that showed a record number of suicides in 2008, the Army said it soon will conduct servicewide training to help identify soldiers at risk of suicide.

The program, which will run February 15 through March 15, will include training to recognize behaviors that may lead to suicide and instruction on how to intervene. The Army will follow the training with another teaching program, from March 15 to June 15, focused on suicide prevention at all unit levels.

The 2008 numbers were the highest annual level of suicides among soldiers since the Pentagon began tracking the rate 28 years ago. The Army said 128 soldiers were confirmed to have committed suicide in 2008, and an additional 15 were suspected of having killed themselves. The statistics cover active-duty soldiers and activated National Guard and reserves.

The Army's confirmed rate of suicides in 2008 was 20.2 per 100,000 soldiers. The nation's suicide rate was 19.5 per 100,000 people in 2005, the most recent figure available, Army officials said last month.

Suicides for Marines were also up in 2008. There were 41 in 2008, up from 33 in 2007 and 25 in 2006, according to a Marines report.

In addition to the new training, the service has a program called Battlemind, intended to prepare soldiers and their families to cope with the stresses of war before, during and after deployment. It also is intended to help detect mental-health issues before and after deployments.

The Army and the National Institute of Mental Health signed an agreement in October to conduct research to identify factors affecting the mental and behavioral health of soldiers and to share strategies to lower the suicide rate. The five-year study will examine active-duty, National Guard and reserve soldiers and their families.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/05/army.suicides/index.html

this has to be one of the coolest things i have ever seen.

i cant help but LOVE these commercials

Obama

I may not agree with his politics 100% but I do honestly believe he is a good man. I couldnt say the same about McCain. That being said, I think these pictures are adorable.

well.

i'm single. and i'm happy.

S.A.D.

I hate the winter.
I feel like i am going crazy and theres nothing i can do to stop it. I'm drowning.
... i thought it would be so easy to write my feelings. its weird hearing a voice, inner monolouge, in my head again, or at all for that matter. I havent had clear thoughts for days because i didnt need them. because i have nothing to do i have no reason to shower, no reason to brush my teeth, or change out of my pajamas, or shave my legs. I have lost my will to do anything, except maybe cry. I seem to do that just fine.
Its depressing listening to myself write this as if anyone will read and understand it. Imagining it as a Diane Keaton movie or something. Imagining all this being read by an actress far more well spoken, and far more beautiful than i could hope to be. yes, this tragedy that is my life will now by my screen play and then i wont be depressed anymore. i will magically have all this money from writing this fantastic screenplay and i wont have Seasonal Affective Disorder because i'll never have to be here during winter.
I wont feel doomed or useless, or miserable, because at the end of my screenplay Diane keaton learns to love herslf and learns to make herself happy, somehow. it would be terrible if she lived her whole life with this crippling chemical embalance and was never truelyhappy the rest of her life, right?
its never been this bad. I've neveer felt so low.
Any chance of hope i reason away with brutal cynicism. I keep distancing myself from people who love me, mostly because i know they dont want my personal baggage, and partly because i'm no sure what all that baggage entails. i dotn know whats wrong, i dont know why i cant snap out of it, i dont know why i miss everyone but i never call and see how they're doing. i dont know why i complaine about doing nothing but never go out when someone asks me on short notice.
what if they are just better off without me, but then i cant help but feel left out when i see facebook pictures.

I wan to sing again. I want to make people happy with my voice. is that pretentious? mostly i just want the praise... pathetic. My mind is a mess. i dont think i've had one cohearant thought, rambling about Diane keaton and drowning... and yet they are somehow related. hm.



p.s. i know i spelled things wrong. i just dont care.

just a quick update

So for those of you who dont know, i'm in Indiana.

i really dig it so far! If i wasnt so in love with Minneapolis i probably wouldnt mind moving to Indianapolis, its a nice city, like minneapolis only not as quwirky (i have no idea how to spell that...) .

So far i've been super busy, but its a good busy. I've decided i really like opening restaurants and training people. i like typing up 'get to know you games' and rolling with the punches. i dont really know how to describe all the stuff i've been doing, but i really am enjoying it :D and it makes me happy that i'm taking pride in the things that i'm doing...

anyway! i'll try and update later! bye!

ok i cant help but REALLY like this video

i hate pop music for the most part. but this video for some reason i just really like! i cant help it, GAHH i wish i could dance!!!


Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)




p.s. you guys suck at commenting!

I won't give up on you, you know thats what i'm sayin'

So i've decided to be a Freudian Slip because its quick and easy, but still clever. and i rarely have the opportunity to be clever. I'd be Cher, but i would over think it and probably spend way too much money trying to achieve 'the cher-ness'

In other news, my job is sending me to Indiana for 2 weeks to train another restaurant! more money,free plane tickets, free food, free hotel... but 10 hour days 6 days a week. I'm sure it will get old, but its too much money to pass up. and it would be awesome to put on a resume 'Corporate Trainer.'
Although i wont be able to traditionally vote, which i'm kind of bummed about. since i'm already registered i just walk into an office and fill out the ballot. i dont get to go into a booth or anything- which is what i was kinda geeking out about. Sounds fun to me haha.

I also get to go to Arizona/ Las Vegas the week after christmas to visit my parents! so hey, californians, we should TOTALLY meet in Vegas! that would truely be badass because i miss everyone like crazy.

You know what my comfort foods are? I figured them out i think, the Misquette Chicken from Quiznos, and Corned beef. odd, but i immediately feel at ease when i eat these 2 foods.... wow that sounds so pathetic. what are your comfort foods? ...please answer so i dont feel like such a fatty.

I've also renewed my love for the movie Dan in Real Life.... it really is that good. i know some disagree with me, but i just... *sigh* it makes me so happy :)

this post is all over the place. why not end it with a cute video of micro teacup chihuahua's!?

Ok, so you guys are officially not helpful at all!!

Alright help me out now guys, top 4 costume ideas:

1.Freudian Slip

2.Raisin

3.leaf blower

4. Cher*



*ok, so for those who dont know, i do a really really lame cher impression that i'm pretty sure only i will think is funny at this party im going to seeing how i wont know anyone. But it would be kinda fun to dress like a tranny (pretty much).

Halloween Costume Ideas.

So this is like, my first costume party that i havent thrown myself. i want to dress to impress so i need some creative ideas. i've snooped around and here are my options, thus far (Votes and Opinions are greatly needed):



1. Sarah Palin

2. Eggs over easy (i'd make something that looks like eggs and put it on my head and then dress really slutty- eggs over easy...get it?)

3. Smartie Pants (bag of smarties on jeans)

4. IPod commercial



5.A Cereal Killer
Directions: This one is easy and clever for grown-ups or older kids. Wear white sweatshirt and black pants. Go to the grocery store and buy the 8-pack of miniature cereal boxes. There are several ways to make this one happen (Krazy Glue, rolled clear packing tape), but basically you are going to affix these cereal boxes to your sweatshirt and pants (not while you're wearing them). Use a knife to 'viciously' cut open the boxes- glue some of the pieces of Fruit Loops, etc so it looks like they are spilling out of the box. You can get creative with fake blood or food coloring 'dripping' around your outfit. You should affix a knife to your shirt too. Bam. You're a cereal killer! Clever, cheap creative Halloween costume for sure!


6.Easy Halloween Costume: Freudian Slip
Directions:Get a one-piece white slip and write FREUD on it with a thick black marker. Now what could be an easier Halloween costume than that?!

7.Kat Von D.
Directions: this one could be kinda fun, i'd just draw tattoos all over my body and face and wear a lot of make up

8. Homeless person (will work/dance for candy?)

9. Raisin
Directions:black trash yard bag

10. Melted Snow Man
Directions: Drench yourself in water and carry around two sticks, a scarf and a carrot.

11. 5. Chia Pet
Directions: Wrap yourself in duct tape so the sticky part is facing out, then roll around on the lawn.


12. Used Car Salesman
Directions: Wear a bright plaid polyester suit and slicked-back hair. Hand out business cards and tell everyone you can get them a "great deal!".

13. Ceiling Fan
Directions: Write "Go Ceilings!" on the front of your shirt. Add other gear if you want (pom poms, big foam finger, etc.) And don't forget to cheer!

14.Leaf Blower:
Directions: Wear a baseball cap with a leaf dangling down in front of your face. When someone asks what you are, blow on the leaf!




Thoughts?

If I won the Lottery.

So i thought this would be kinda fun* to figure out. If after taxes i ended up winning 100 million dollars, what would i spend it on? Well let me break it down!
*fun/torment?

1. First i would buy the 2009 Toyota Camry Hybrid. I love my camry, i really, really do. But lets face it, its 14 years old and will probably die soon (my poor Raquel baby!). so i'd need new wheels, and this car not only is beautiful, but its practicle. if my 1994 camry has lasted me this long, i'm sure the 2009 would go even longer. so there goes my first $19,145.



2. I would pay off all my student loans: $35,000

3. I would pay off all my personal debt: $1,000

4. Pay off all my families debt: $40,000 (thats just a guesstimate but i thought i'd rather be over than under)

5. Pay off all my sisters student loans: $100,000

6. Buy a really nice apartment/condo in Minneapolis (preferably near Lake Calhoun): I'm not really sure how much this would cost... i'lll just say... $15,000?
+8,000 for all the stuff to put into the new apartment



7. Buy my parents a nice house in Scottsdale AND in Minnesota so they can be Snow Birds: $1.5 Million



8. Travel the world. Now i'm not limiting this to a certain amount of time, over the years i'd want to travel all over AND i want to pay for my friends to come with so: $2,000,000

9. Fund my sisters missionary work so she can focus on where God wants her to go, and never have to worry about the 'how': $3,000,000

10. Set up a scholarship fund for anyone who has the heart to go to the Stieger International Disciplship Training School in New Zealand: $25 Million

11. Buy a boat... what can i say, i've always wanted a boat heh..: $600,000



12. Buy 2 dogs a Puggle (a cross between a pug and a beagle), and a Shiba Inu: $800






13.Buy New clothes (i am a girl after all): $4,000

14. Buy all the movies i've ever wanted: $2,500

15. Invest in the de-salination of water, and wind energy: $1,000,000

16. Buy the Salvage Yard a church of their own: $1,000,000

17. Buy a really nice computer: $3,000

18. Buy enough books to make my own little library: $2,000



19. Make a CD, why not!: $7,000

20. Sit front row at a Broadway Show with all of my friends: $1,000

21. Employ a personal chef (ideally Ina Garten aka Barefoot Contessa) and maid for the rest of my life: $2,000,000



20,000
+35,000
+1,000
+40,000
+100,000
+15,000
+8,000
+1,500,000
+2,000,000
+3,000,000
+25,000,000
+600,000
+800
+4,000
+2,500
+1,000,000
+1,000,000
+3,000
+2,000
+7,000
+1,000
+2,000,000
-------------
=$36,339,300


So that leaves me $63,660,700 left to leave in a bank and let it acrue interest to leave to my children someday. Any suggestions?