Wednesday, June 4, 2008

It's Always Sunny with Jack Handy :)

I just wanted to share these with you all because they make me tear up with laughter, and thats the best kind :) Happy Wednesday/day before my birthday!

"To Me its a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anyone says "Hey can you give me a hand?" You can say, "sorry, got these sacks" -Jack Handy

"Whenever some asks me to define love, i usually spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. Now Who's asking questions?" -Jack Handy

"IF you're an ant walking across pudding, you probably have no idea the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of the pudding skin" -Jack Handy

"It's true that everytime a bell rings an angel gets its wings, but what they dont tell you is everytime you hear a mousetrap snap an angel gets set on fire!" -Jack Handy

"If i come back as a horse fly, I think my favorite thing would be to land on someones lip. Even if they smack you, Ick! You're all over their lip!" -Jack Handy


"I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care." -Dennis from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia

"If you're good today, I'm gonna buy you anything that you want... anything in the world, alright? [Tommy spits on Charlie] Oh my god! I will smash your face into a... into a jelly!" -Charlie from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia

"Dennis: What the hell is going on?
Charlie: That's Tammy, Trey's ex-girlfriend. This is classic Tammy. Trey broke up with Tammy because Maureen Kanallen said that she saw Tammy flirting with Walt Timny at a party, but she was only doing it to make Trey jealous because you know, she thought that Trey secretly liked Erin Henebry, but he doesn't like Erin Henebry, it was all a bunch of bull.
[Sweet Dee wanders over in a drunken stupor]
Sweet Dee: What is happening?
Charlie: That's Tammy, Trey's ex-girlfriend. This is classic Tammy. Trey broke up with Tammy because--
Mac: Okay, you know what Charlie, you gotta stop, honestly..."
-It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

"Charlie: This costume, the chicks is gonna go crazy all over it.
Frank: Maybe you should let me do all the talking.
Charlie: No, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. So watch and learn.
Stripper: Awww, look at you sweetie, what happened?
Charlie: [shouting] Viet-goddamn-nam is what happened! Go get me a beer, bitch!" -It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

"Hi. I'm a recovering crack head. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare, please." -Dennis from Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Charlie: It says M-meet... and then a bunch of words after it.
Dennis: It says meet me in the parking lot, Frank. I think you have a learning disorder bro." -It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

" [singing] I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass, gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, I'm gonna kick some ass, I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG, AND EAGLE." -Charlie from Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia

4 comments:

Katie said...

I LOVE THE CHARLIE GOES AMERICA ON EVERYBODY'S ASS episode! Oh my god, sooo gooood!

My other favorite is when Dee and Dennis get addicted to crack. Good stuff.

Andy said...

Awesome show i also like how its made by a few buddies and then FX picked it up and it took off.Show is just great! I love the edgy humor and how they're addressing everyday issues and finding the hilarity in them.Catch it Download its always sunny in philadelphia here...

Anonymous said...

I This awesome Show. I Really Love to watch The It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.This is Favorite Show.

Anonymous said...

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