its over.

ABBY:hahaha no i just had a small epiphany

JONATHAN:what is that?

ABBY:you thinkwell, you know, sometimes this seems so in the moment i forget that i tell you so much

JONATHAN:yeah we do have a connection i just wish it wasn't long distance

ABBY:yeah... i wish it wasnt too

JONTHAN:im really missing physical contact

ABBY:me too...

JONATHAN:ive always thought long distance is impossible but i want it to...just doesn't ever work outya knowor rather it hasn't for me...hell i broke up with a girl 2 hours away because of the distance ha

ABBY:i think for it to work both people have to be equally devoted but... it will be hard... i just wish i had more options

JONATHAN:what kind of options?

ABBY:like, money to fly out and see you on the weekendsor a place to live closer to you

JONTHAN:awe yeah i should be in a possition to do all those things i think im just now starting to think i have a future and i want to follow through with my goals its kind of exciting

ABBY:and its beautiful jonathan
i just want to be part of your future... but if you dont see me in it then... theres not a lot i can do...

JONATHAN: welli don't see you in a role of girlfriend right nowbut i want to continue to talk to you its just not the right time for either of us those words hit me like a ton of bricks...you the same?

ABBY:i cnat really breathe right now

JONATHAN: im sorry

ABBY:do you... i mean is it really not the right time or are you saying that to break it to me 'gently'... like, do you just not love me anymore

JONATHAN:no i really mean its not the right time I REALLY DO you cross over the line of care about and love often but when i don't talkto you its just care aboutbut when we start talking its love i know that doesn't make much sense

ABBY:no... you've told me before how you forget how much you like talking to me... i figured i wasnt really part of your life... just the girl you talk to

JONATHAN:you were part of my life this is weird but you gave me confidence in myself to know that someone could care about me like that again....im really damaged goods...after me and my ex broke up she had abortion and i went crazy...i drank a LOT

ABBY:i didnt think anyone would ever truely love me... and now i know that no one will...

JONATHAN:please don't say such thingsthat you know to be false you are trying to make yourself feel worse its not that its just the distance and the timing i really do care about you your amazing you have one of the best personality i have ever come across and you are so cute and oh so sexy know that i will think of you every time i hear water nymph im sorry

ABBY:so i wont see you over christmas break then...

JONATHAN: i haven't decided yet...im ambivalentabout it

ABBY:i dont know what to say

JONATHAN:ditto

ABBY:i honestly thought i'd be enough to make it work...

JONATHAN: Im just lonely when im not talking with you and i need to hold you and you cant be here i haven't had a girlfriend in a year! ugh that sounded very guyish. i haven't kissed someone in so long god i feel selfish

ABBY:so you're going to find someone to kiss.

JONATHAN: im going to try to have a connection with a person....and i know that it probably won't be as strong as ours but atleast she is tangible

JONATHAN:im going to go nowim sorry...i feel horrible.

ABBY:please dont ever say you loved me.